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Like-a-Virgin Almond Lace Cookies




Clip art of the blessed mother and an almond lace cookie


Did you know your favorite cookie says a lot about who you are?  


Suppose you like ginger snaps? You're probably an outspoken person who doesn’t care who they piss off.


Or you're a ginger.



Photo by Alan King, unsplash.com


What about oatmeal cookies? 


You’re a homebody who never wears make-up, often curls-up with books, and has lots of cats. It's the perfect pandemic cookie.


But if you like oatmeal cookies with raisins, you're probably just old. Fiber and all.


How about sandwich cookies?


You like to have fun. You’re creative, imaginative, and captivate party-goers with your clever storytelling. I’m not sure how a sandwich-cookie can tell so much about a person, but it describes my friend exactly. She likes Oreos.


If you like Oreos, you also may have an addictive personality. Studies show that Oreos are as addictive as cocaine and have similar effects on the brain. 


I can’t eat just one. Can you?


What about the Italian cookie, Brutti ma Buoni, which translates to Ugly but Good?


That’s your boyfriend's favorite cookie.


Not nice, I know, but he has a great personality.


Which brings me to the almond lace cookie.


Almond lace cookies are beautiful, delicate cookies. They need to be handled with care or they will break into pieces. But they are also seductive with a lacy, see-through, come-hither pattern and an indulgent nutty flavor. You practically have to lick the butter off your fingers after you eat them. 


How can a dainty cookie be so satisfying?


If almond lace cookies are your favorite cookies, then I’m afraid you suffer from the classic Madonna-whore complex.


Laila McQueen as Madonna

Speaking of Madonna (the entertainer, not the mother of God), she once claimed that her then-husband Guy Ritchie went on a cookie diet and didn't want to have sex with her anymore. Madonna said Guy's daily intake of nine cookies plus dinner lowered his libido.


I think Madonna's bullet bras might have been to blame.


They're a hazard in the bedroom and a bitch to unfasten.


Bullet Bra


Almond Lace Cookies


Equipment:


Silpat to line baking sheet



Ingredients:

  • ¾ cup finely ground, unblanched almonds

  • ½ cup butter

  • ½ cup sugar

  • 1 TBSP flour

  • 1 TBSP heavy cream

  • 1TBSP milk 



Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

  • Combine all ingredients in a heavy-bottomed sauce pan. Stir constantly over medium-low heat until butter melts. Remove from heat.

  • Using a teaspoon, drop a teaspoon-full of batter on your Silpat, 3 inches apart. (6 cookies will fit on a baking sheet.)

  • Bake from 5-6 minutes (my cookies are perfect at 5 ½ minutes) or until light brown and bubbly.

  • Let cookies completely cool on baking sheet. They will firm up and become crisp. Use a spatula to transfer them to a cooling rack.

  • Yields 3 ½ dozen (maybe more, but I ate some cookies and some batter).



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